Question: Most of my life I have wondered why men have this pre-occupation with the almighty “blow job“. It can be a subject of great contention for some women. My husband has told me on numerous occasions that this is a subject that men discuss AND one of his fellow associates stated one day: “Women would rule the world, if they would just give their husband’s the blow job that they want.” Hmmmmmmm…why is this? What is the fascination, the pre-occupation…the importance of it? Even the women’s magazines like Cosmo and Glamour are trying to convince us women that this is something that we should be doing on a regular basis. If all you want to do is see naked and press the flesh…why is this such an important thing also? Do men really talk about this with each other?
I know that my younger counterparts do not have as many hang-ups about this act…but as a woman who was born in the late 1950’s, I and others of time period were trained by our mothers to never consider this…this act was one that prostitutes and bad girls did. So, what do we do now that it is common practice? ...Denise
Answer: You ask a very good question, Denise, so let me respond to it in a direct and succinct manner…men are wild about getting their whistles blown. And there are quite a few reasons for this. First of all, it feels really good. There’s something about being enveloped by the warm wetness of an insistent mouth that really gets our blood boiling. “But don’t you get the same sensation being nestled inside a moist vagina?” Yes…if your vagina has a tongue. You see, oral sex is more of an ensemble piece than is vaginal sex. A good blow job requires the mutual cooperation of lips, tongue, saliva, hand, and on very rare occasions, a receptive gullet. Tough for your nether regions to compete with such a well-oiled oral team.
Secondly, oral sex is virtually stress-free for us. Unlike regular sex where we have to be concerned about being hard enough, big enough, and long-lasting enough, “lingual love” carries with it no such angst-inducing pressures. We are literally free to relax and enjoy ourselves, knowing that our orgasm will arrive at the appropriate time, no matter how soon that is.
Thirdly, in oral sex, the voyeur in us really has a chance to come into play. Unless we have mirrors or video recording devices in our bedroom, we never really get to visually experience “normal sex” when we are actively participating in it. But with oral sex, we have the opportunity to see you work your magic on our private parts. We get to watch you pleasure us, which only further enhances our enjoyment of the act. It’s like we’re starring in our own little pornographic film…and you know how much we enjoy our dirty movies.
Fourthly, oral sex is all about recreation, not procreation. The goal is pleasure not progeny. In other words, it’s an opportunity to have a good time without the risk of eighteen years of financial commitment. It’s orgasm without a price tag – and we really like that.
And lastly, your willingness to unselfishly “service us” in this manner makes us feel good about ourselves. You’re catering to our needs without demanding anything in return. Thus oral sex is a treat, of sorts, a little bonus given lovingly to us by someone who wants nothing more than to make us feel good. And what’s not to like about that.
I am not, however, saying that you must engage in this sexual practice in order to satisfy your man. If the idea of engaging in such an act repulses you, and your vagina has been sexually doing all the heavy lifting for years without complaints from your man, then “why fix it if it ain’t broke?” On the other hand, if you’re looking to spice up your sexual repertoire with a performance piece that’s sure to earn you a standing ovation from your man’s sexual apparatus, then a blowjob is the ticket. It’s the perfect gift for all occasions, and there’s very little chance he’ll want to exchange it, re-gift it, or return it for store credit.
© 2008 David M. Matthews. All Rights Reserved.